Wednesday, May 30, 2012

It’s WEDNESDAY!!! And time for another adventure in the origin of language. I have randomly chosen “berserk” for today’s word (actually, I chose berserk about 3 weeks for reasons I can no longer remember). So here we go!!

From Dictionary.com:

berserk: violently or destructively frenzied; wild; crazed; deranged:He suddenly went berserk.
Synonyms
1.  violent, mad, maniacal, rabid, demented, lunatic.

From Merriam-Webster:

berserk 1: an ancient Scandinavian warrior frenzied in battle and held to be invulnerable

2 : one whose actions are recklessly defiant

 

It’s common practice to issue a newly diagnosed mental health patient a bloody axe and instruct them to chase villagers. (ok, not really, but it might be an interesting therapeutic solution) 

From Online Etymology Dictionary:

1844, from berserk (noun) “Norse warrior,” by 1835, an alternative form of berserker (1822), a word which was introduced by Sir Walter Scott, from Old Norse. berserkr (noun) “raging warrior of superhuman strength;” probably from *ber- ”bear” + serkr ”shirt,” thus lit. “a warrior clothed in bearskin.” Thus not from Old Norse berr ”bare, naked.”

Thorkelin, in the essay on the Berserkir, appended to his edition of the Krisini Saga, tells that an old name of the Berserk frenzy was hamremmi, i.e., strength acquired from another strange body, because it was anciently believed that the persons who were liable to this frenzy were mysteriously endowed, during its accesses, with a strange body of unearthly strength. If, however, the Berserk was called on by his own name, he lost his mysterious form, and his ordinary strength alone remained. ["Notes and Queries," Dec. 28, 1850]

The adjectival use probably is from such phrases as berserk frenzy, or as a title (Arngrim the Berserk).

From Urban Dictionary:

Berserk: An anime and manga about a guy with a massive sword that he uses to literally maim most of the evil population. Includes some quality outtakes in the DVDs.

This does not seem to accurately reflect mental health as I know it. I know a lot of people with mental health issues and none of them are violently frenzied. Yet another example of how inaccurately we use language.

According to one book, entitled Hippos Go Berserk, it means that the hippos are going to have party. I like this use of the word “berserk” better than the manga image.

 

Success at the P-sychiatrist

Alexi’s appointment at the psychiatrist today went very well. The first hour was spent going over family history without Alexi in the room.  Fortunately, she is also Rian’s psychiatrist so she is familiar with the family dynamic so I didn’t have to go over the darkest stuff – what a blessing that was! Alexi’s counselor from OECYC was also in attendance, another blessing, so she was able to share her insights.

We identified Alexi’s three biggest issues as:

1. anxiety
2. losing himself in fantasy worlds – TV, movies, video games, books, card games (Pokemon, Digimon, etc.)
3. not wanting to go to school

All of which really boil down to anxiety. The doctor opted, and I was in full agreement, to increase his anti-anxiety medications by 25mg/day. Alexi’s been on a very low dose for about a year and the doctor said there was lots of room to increase if needed. That’s one thing I really like about the pediatrician who has been in charge of his care for the past few years. He doesn’t believe in medicating children with a maximum dose. He believes that medication is only an aid that is meant to complement cognitive behaviour therapy. And he’s absolutely right.

I will never discount the importance of the right medication – trust me, it’s saved my life. However, medication without therapy and counseling is like a printer without ink – it’s not nearly as effective (this was my other simile; like chocolate without peanut butter - separately they’re good, but together it’s magic. I’ve been craving chocolate for weeks now, but pick whichever one works better for you).

Alexi spent some time alone with the pee-sychiatrist (if you’ve never watched Animaniacs you won’t get the “pee” part). He didn’t seem very happy when his counselor and I rejoined them in the doctor’s office. Alexi has a great deal of difficulty trusting people, which is understandable, so I’m pretty sure that was part of his displeasure. The other part was because he did not want his meds increased. Alexi hates taking medication. I can’t blame him, I hate taking medication too, however, it’s necessary so we do it (kinda like eating vegetables – “Hello, my name is Holly and I’m a dessert-etarian”.). I explained to him that the increase in meds was necessary because he’s grown so much (he sat up a little straighter) since he started on the current dose. This made sense to him and he agreed that the increase was “ok”.

To celebrate his successful visit we went to Marble Slab and indulged in some decadent, creamy goodness (this has become a tradition with Rian so I thought I better do the same thing for Alexi). It’s a good thing they only see the pee-sychiatrist every 6 to 8 weeks or I’d soon be needing a new wardrobe!

Here’s the Animaniacs ode to their pee-sychiatrist, Dr. Scratchandsniff. Enoy!

 

Tomorrow at 9am

Tomorrow at 9 am is Alexi’s first visit to the psychiatrist at CPRI. I’m a little anxious about it. Fortunately, his counselor from OECYC is going to meet us there. That’s going to be a big help. I don’t want to forget anything.

For those of you who are just starting to deal with children’s mental health professionals here’s a few tips that I find helpful:

1. Remember, these people are not the enemy. They are there to help you.
2. Also remember, you are the expert about your child – they don’t know what happens at your house so you need to be open with them so they can help your child and your family.
3. Since you are the expert when it comes to your child you already know what works and what doesn’t work. Be open with the specialist about that information too. There’s no point in wasting anyone’s time on methods that have been tried and failed.
4. Talk to your family members and the other parent’s family, find out if there is any history of mental illness in your families that neither of you know about. Share this information with the specialist.
5. Bring any relevant medical paperwork with you to the appoint; letters of diagnosis, letters from your child’s teacher and/or principal; list of medications they are taking or have taken (including homeopathic remedies); list of organizations you are involved with (counseling, wraparound etc.); names of doctors, pediatricians, counselors, therapists that your child has seen; recent report cards; any insurance paperwork (in Ontario your OHIP card); IEPs; records of school meetings, etc.
6. It can take a few meetings for both you and your child to be comfortable with the specialist. However, if that comfort level never comes there is nothing wrong with seeking the help of another specialist. Nothing will be gained for your child and your family if you do not trust the specialist.

Is there anything else that you can think of? Please share it here for other parents (and me!). The more knowledge we have, the more help we are to our kids. I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

 

What if….

A friend sent me this image. She thought it was perfect for The Madhouse…and she was right!

What do you think?

 

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I feel compelled to warn you that today’s Word Wednesday may contain a spoiler from the movie The Avengers. Now that I have performed my public service announcement I will share with you today’s phrase, spoken in the movie by Bruce Banner, the  alter-ego of the Hulk, in reference to the villainous demi-god, Loki.

“I don’t think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy’s brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.”

Yes folks, you read it right, “That guy’s brain is a bag full of cats”. I have to admit, I laughed out loud in the theatre. Mark Ruffalo, who played Bruce Banner, delivered the line with perfection. I don’t know if anyone else could have done it as well.

I have never heard this expression before so was surprised when I found several different references online (including a band, Bag a’ Cats, and a couple of blogs). So here we go.

From Urban Dictionary:

1. The noise two women make when they argue/engrossed in an enthusiast conversation.
“Shut up the pair of you, you’re like a bag of cats.”
*spelling is copied exactly from the source

2. A bag of 2 or more cats, which is very noisy due to the cats fighting to escape the bag.
“Hey, what the hell is that noisy thing moving around on the ground?”
“Oh that? It’s just a bag of cats.”
“Huh…that’s a little odd don’t you think?”
“…yeah…I guess a little…”

 3. Default term for when you need to reference an unknown, undetermined, or wildly irregular fetish. To be used as a placeholder and/or euphemism for said fetish.

Also known used in the long form “punching a bag of cats”

Jane: To have a good relationship you need to be open about everything that you’re into.
Tom: But what if you’re into punching a bag of cats?
Jane: Well that’s something your partner would need to consider, isn’t it?

From Cat-ch Phrases

A bag of cats - A bad-tempered person, such as: “She’s a real bag of cats this afternoon!”  

From The O’ Byrne Files – Dublin Slang Dictionary and Phrase Book

He/She’s like a bag of cats = He/She’s in very bad humour

So it looks like The Avengers is the first to use it in reference to a “crazy” person (crazy here meaning mentally ill). Although I may be reading more into it than what was really meant. Either way, it’s an amusing expression.

Oh, and a side note – have you ever known anyone you can “smell the crazy on“? (that cracked me up too).

They look pretty peaceful to me.

 

Stay-cation Summary

I told you about our Day Tripping  adventure on Saturday so I thought I’d tell you about the rest of our long weekend or Stay-cation.

Saturday (the remainder of) – Both kids had sleep-overs at their friends’ houses so I had a Saturday night to myself. So what did this crazy, single mom do? I wrote a blog, read a book, watched a little TV and went to sleep.  I know, I’m a wild one.

Sunday – My crazy, care-free Saturday night proved too much for me and I slept through my alarm so I missed church, again (I think that makes 5 weeks in a row now – oops). I communicated with the kids via their friends’ parents and decided to take them to see The Avengers. I arranged to pick up Alexi from his friend’s house and we were to meet the girls at the mall at 2:30pm. The movie was to start at 3:50pm so I wanted to give us lots of time to get tickets, seats, etc. I figured it would be packed.

I was wrong. About many things. We were 1/2 hour late to meet the girls. The show started at 3:15pm, not 3:50pm and, fortunately, it was not busy. We were able to get out favourite seats – middle of the very back row (we discovered this row has ample leg room and offers a view of the big screen that does not cause a crick in one’s neck). And we made it there in time to see the previews (I love the previews, although sometimes they play so many I forget what I went to the movies to see).

I also had to convince my son to stay through the whole movie. Alexi loves superheroes, but the build-up to of the story line, when the bad guy  thwarts the heroes’ every effort, causes him great stress and anxiety. He spent the first 3/4 of the movie tearing apart the little box his popcorn and drink had come in.

I felt bad for him, but didn’t want him to miss out on what I was sure would turn out to be a movie he’d love. I also didn’t want to pass up on this teachable moment. I explained, in hushed tones of course (we were in a movie theatre), that I knew it looked bad for The Avengers – nothing was going their way, Loki, the bad guy, was outsmarting them at every turn but I told him the best was yet to come – when The Avengers started trusting one another and they collaborated. I wanted him to see that good can triumph. With perseverance, patience and partnership the good guys would perform with passion and precision (that’s right, I’m rocking the p’s). When the Avengers came together to form the team and starting kicking Loki’s butt, Alexi really got into the movie and I was so proud that he toughed it out.

Loki or Thor…which one would you choose?

There were a couple of other interesting things that came from the movie (including tomorrow’s Word Wednesday). While watching the preview for this movie a couple of weeks ago Rian commented that one of the men was “really cute”. I assumed she meant Chris Hemsworth, sandy-haired, solidly built Australian, but no, she meant Tom Hiddleston, who played Loki. That’s right, my daughter had a crush on the ultimate bad boy – Loki the god of mischief, deceit and lies. Every parents’ nightmare all wrapped up in one. Fortunately, after watching the movie, Rian switched her affections to Hawkeye – a trained assassin. A step up? Not really sure.

Hawkeye – my daughter’s pick.

After the movie was over we stopped and rented Captain America: The First Avenger  so we could fill-in the back story that was continued in The Avengers. We also rented We Bought a Zoo, to wind the evening down with a little less bloodshed. I’ve adopted my new life creed from We Bought a Zoo (unfortunately I won’t be buying a zoo anytime soon, but maybe one day….Welcome to The Madhouse Zoo – Everyday’s An Adventure!):

“All you need is 20-seconds of insane courage
and I promise you something great will come out of it”

Holiday Monday – I applied this theory to our trip to the beach! My friend K., her husband E. and their two boys C. and J. (you may remember them from Saturday’s adventure) joined us on a trip to Port Bruce on the shores of Lake Erie, about a 35 minute drive for us. The sand was blisteringly hot and the water, well, it was not. The kids played in the sand and collected (more) rocks. They made a new friend, Ben, who played fetch with them (Ben was a big, black lab that didn’t seem to belong to anyone on the beach. He was super-friendly and played fetch for the entire afternoon). K., wisely, sat on the shore and read while E. ran around with the boys and ventured in the water a couple of times.

The water temperature was a balmy 14 degrees Celsius or 58 degrees Fahrenheit. It wasn’t that bad once you got used to it. Really. It wasn’t. Honest.

The water was chilly, so the kids decided not to swim. Alexi went out a little bit but was quickly back to basking in the sun on the shoreline. Rian went in as deep as her knees (while still wearing the New Balance runners I bought her last month) but refused to swim because “it was too cold”. I decided to apply my new philosophy and dug down deep for my 20-seconds of insane courage. Insane courage was right. It was *%$#*&^ freezing!! But I stayed in for an hour, paddling around, once I regained feeling in my limb (I must say, I felt strangely patriotic frolicking in the limb-numbing water).

On the opposite end of the temperature scale – I forgot sunblock. I had sunblock in our beach bag, I just didn’t remember to enforce its use. Nor did I use any myself. Rian and I, who have what I call “Irish colouring” – fair skin and dark hair – are both beet-red today. My son, who inherited his father’s colouring, was a little red last night, and is now a lovely bronze. I try not to be jealous of him. I’m almost succeeding. Almost.

So all-in-all, a very successful Stay-cation. The kids had a great time. It didn’t cost me a ton of money (the conservation authority was free; the kids had gift certificates for the movies; and I only splurged on pizza Sunday and ice cream Monday). I think the best thing about the weekend was that I was able to do everything with the kids. And that, my friends, was the best part of all.

 

Day Tripping

On Saturday I took the kids back to E.E. Warwick Conservation Area near Eagle (famed in song and legend – Tales of An ADHD Mom). I invited my friend K. and her two boys, C. & J. to join us. They’re about the same age as Rian and Alexi. And so Rian wouldn’t feel overwhelmed by the pre-adolescent testosterone level that comes with 3 smelly boys I made sure her friend, M., could join us. Oh, and I remembered to bring our dog, Jake, along too!

A good time was had by all. The day was stunningly warm and sunny. The walk was lovely. We all played at the beach and collected rocks, lots of them (thanks to K. who hauled them all back to the car!). J. is diagnosed with ADHD too, as is his mom, K. Being in the great outdoors is fabulous for kids (and adults) with MHIs. The outdoors offer more freedom of movement. Kids don’t have to use “inside voices”. Plus, my brother, who is a real environmentalist and naturalist (being he’s into nature; if he’s into nudity – I don’t want to know) tells me there’s 30% more oxygen around trees which is fabulous for brain function.

Coleman Outdoor Gear put out an amazing commercial a couple of years ago spouting the benefits of the great outdoors for kids with ADHD. I’ve spent the last two hours online hunting for it and still haven’t found it. When I do I’ll post it for you (I will find it, it has now become my mission). Here are some pics from our day and I hope you’re all having a beautiful weekend.

Rian was hunting for fossils and sea glass.

Alexi found some fascinating rocks with multiple fossils.

Jake enjoyed the sunshine and the fresh air.

 

Tales Out of School

I remember when I would tell stories about my friends or cousins and my mom would say I was “telling tales out of school”. Apparently it means you’re spreading gossip, but I’m sure I wasn’t…ok, maybe a little. I was just a kid. I’m much better now that I’m all growed up.

Every once in awhile I remember a story from when my kids were younger that I get the urge to share with my readers. Most of these “tales” are light, usually comical and almost always sweet. They remind me that kids are like onions – they have layers (quoting the great and wise guru, Shrek). So I decided to call these little segments Tales Out of School.

A few summers ago we had a trampoline in the backyard. The kids loved the trampoline, especially Alexi. They would bounce on it. Run on it. Wrestle on it. Sword fight on it (relax, they were Nerf swords. They’re only allowed to use real swords when their feet are on the grass). Sprayed water on it and slid around. Laid down and read. It was a well-used trampoline.

One lovely summer’s eve we all went outside to play on the trampoline (for me this usually meant two bounces and then I had to pee, ladies I’m sure you understand), but we ended up lying on it and stargazing. It was beautiful. The night was clear. The stars were bright. I had the two loves of my life beside me. That moment in time was a little piece of heaven.

I remember sighing in contentment. I told the kids, “This is so serene.” Alexi popped right up, “What’s serene, mom?” “Well, serene means peaceful and tranquil.”

At that, my son jumped right up and started bouncing with all his might while yelling, “Wreck the serene! Wreck the serene!”

I guess ADHD doesn’t do serene.

Alexi and Rian reading on the trampoline. I think I should have wrecked their serene.

 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Last week I posted my first ever speech. I debated whether or not to post it. It seemed a little narcissistic, but there’s something in the spoken word that is sometimes lost in the written word, and vice versa (for instance, I had no idea I gestured that much. I’d like to blame it on nerves, but it turns out I do that all the time. Same with the funny faces. Thank God I didn’t suddenly start speaking in a cheesy German accent like I’m prone to do at home).  I’d like to do it again. Maybe I’ll be more organized next time (and in better control of my limbs).

Anyway, there was a term I used in my speech that I decided would make a great Word Wednesday- Invisible Illness. Here’s what I found.

An incomplete list of invisible illnesses from Pliable in His Hands:

Allergies and Food In-tolerances, Arthritis, Asthma, Cancer, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Myofascial Pain, Depression /Mental Illness, Diabetes and Blood Sugar, Digestive Disorders; Example IBS, colitis, Celiac etc., Eating Disorders, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome EDS & HyperMobility Syndrome GHS, Headaches, Migraines, etc., Heart Conditions inc Dysautonomia, Infertility, Lupus, Lyme Disease, Multiple Sclerosis, Neurological Diseases, Pain Management, Rare and Orphan Illnesses, Secondary Medical Issues, Sjogren’s Syndrome, Thyroid Disorders.

Statistics from Invisible Illness Week:

WHAT ABOUT INVISIBLE ILLNESS?

Approximately 96% of people who live with an illness have an illness that is invisible. These people do no use a cane or any assistive device and may look perfectly healthy. (2002 US Census Bureau)

WHAT OTHER CONDITIONS MAY BE DESCRIBED AS BEING AN INVISIBLE ILLNESS OR DISABILITY?

Though statistics do not include many categories of illness, mental illness, or conditions, we welcome anyone who may benefit from encouragement from others who have illnesses.

• For example, 9 million people are cancer survivors with various side effects from treatment who may feel as though they have a chronic condition. (American Cancer Society)
• Current statistics on autism indicate that more children will be diagnosed with autism this year than cancer, diabetes, Downs Syndrome and AIDS combined, approximately 1 in 150 children (http://www.generationrescue.org)\

WHAT ABOUT MENTAL ILLNESS? DOES IT COUNT?

• Yes! About one in four adults suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year.Kessler RC, Chiu WT, Demler O, Walters EE. Prevalence, severity, and comorbidity of twelve-month DSM-IV disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R). Archives of General Psychiatry, 2005 Jun;62(6):617-27. and more than 90 percent of people who kill themselves have a diagnosable mental disorder

Conwell Y, Brent D. Suicide and aging I: patterns of psychiatric diagnosis. International Psychogeriatrics, 1995; 7(2): 149-64.

• Two million Americans live with schizophrenia—twice the number of those with HIV/AIDS.  Almost 50% believe that doctors take their medical problems less seriously than those of people with other illnesses. (National Alliance on Mental Health)
• Meanwhile, the death rate from causes such as heart disease and diabetes is two to three times greater for people living with serious mental illnesses than that of the general population. (National Alliance on Mental Health)
• Unfortunately, two-thirds of people living with serious mental illnesses do not receive treatment. (National Alliance on Mental Health)

BUT IS HAVING AN ILLNESS REALLY THAT BIG OF DEAL?

• The divorce rate among the chronically ill is over 75 percent. National Health Interview Survey
• Depression is 15-20% higher for the chronically ill than for the average person – Rifkin, A. “Depression in Physically Ill Patients,” Postgraduate Medicine (9-92) 147-154.
• Various studies have reported that physical illness or uncontrollable physical pain are major factors in up to 70% of suicides; Mackenzie TB, Popkin MK: “Suicide in the medical patient.”. Intl J Psych in Med 17:3-22, 1987
• and more than 50% of these suicidal patients were under 35 years of age. Michalon M: La psychiatrie de consultation-liaison: une etude prospective en milieu hospitalier general. Can J Psychiatry (In French) 38:168-174,1993

One of the most common phrases people with Invisible Illnesses hear is “But you don’t look sick.” (Sounds an awful lot like “You present so well” doesn’t it?) That’s not to say that people with Invisible Illnesses can’t do or accomplish any of the same things as healthy people but it does mean that accommodations need to be made for them. Just like someone who uses a wheelchair requires accommodations be made to the physical space, people with invisible illnesses often require accommodations to the environment, work load etc. For instance someone with chemical sensitivities would require a scent-free environment.

The unfortunate truth is most people, even sometimes our closest friends and family members, cannot or refuse to accept the realities of Invisible Illness. These illnesses can be very debilitating even though the one who is suffering appears to be healthy (I often say “If it weren’t for my head I’m healthy as a horse”). Next time you run into someone who has said they aren’t feeling well, but they look fine, take a few minutes before you judge their health based on appearances. They may be suffering more than you can imagine.

A video from Invisible Illness Week. I think I’ve had this exact conversation with people about my health and the kids’ health. Only I have more hair and would make funnier faces.

 

LOL Award

A few months ago my dear blogging friend Single Working Mother honoured the Madhouse with the LOL Award. Obviously, she finds the Madhouse amusing, as I hope many of you do too. I didn’t post it right away because I wasn’t feeling very LOL-y (me and Dr. Seuss – making up words because we can). Actually, I was really struggling. The truth is, I’m still struggling, but I’ve decided to LOL anyway!!

Did you know there are rules when you receive a blog award? Well, there are. Here are the LOL award rules.

1. Post the LOL (laugh out loud, for you non-texters out there) badge on your blog
2. Write a post that includes the following: a) a thank you to the person who gave you the award (include a link to their blog) b) a clean joke or limerick (just look one up and copy it into your post if you don’t know one- it can even be a knock knock joke!) c) a list of five other blogs (linked) that you’re giving the award to- so we can find more laughs
3. Notify the five other blogs that you’ve given them the award and explain to them that they need to copy and paste these instructions on their blog… and complete them

Post the badge – check.

Write a post with a thank you – Thanks, SWM for all your support. <hugs>
A clean joke or limerick – (I’m substituting a picture, because I like pictures)

Um, yup, this applies to me most days.

5 other blogs:

1. All Work and No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something - Another Canadian (We rock) mommy who also deals with MHIs

2. Attention Deficit Whatever – College prof who is just starting his journey to wellness with ADHD

3. Barnyarn – A local farmgirl who shares stories of rural living (I must admit, I’m a tad jealous of her. Out there in the open air….)

4. Becoming Cliche – This lady has a fantastic sense of humour and sees everything through turtle-coloured glasses (you really gotta read to understand)

5. Best of Fates – I’m new to this one, but she seems pretty quirky and I admire quirky.

Now I just have to notify them and it’s all goooood. Hope you get a few chuckles looking the other blogs, I know I LOL with them.