I posted this on Facebook about a week ago. My Michael has encouraged me to share it here even though I haven’t posted in 14 months. I’ve been debating it for the past few days but was inspired by the hope-themed post “Everyone Had the Fever” written by my friend, Larry, over at Me, Myself and Kids.
Anxiety is more than a mental health issue. It is a parasite. It sucks away your energy. Your drive. Your desires. Your dreams. It poisons you with fear. It causes paralysis of the mind – it anesthetizes the positive thoughts, creativity and imagination. The poison feeds your fears. Fuels your Nightmares and holds you captive. Anxiety eats you from the inside out. Leaving an empty shell that was once a vibrant person. I have the desire to kill my tormentor. Slaughter my captor. Rid myself of the infestation that is Anxiety. I use coping tools, medications and therapy to wage war against my unseen enemy. I win some battles. I lose others. I long for a cease fire. There are days I am ready to wave the white flag. Surrender and never fight again. But that is not an option. So today, when I am ready to tie anything that is white to a stick and wave it feebly in the air, crying, “You win! You’re stronger than I am. I give up” – I don’t. It may not be a great victory. The only ground that may be won is the step I take to grind the white flag of surrender into the ground. But I will not surrender. Not today. Not ever.