Getting Out and Getting Involved

Over the past few Mondays I’ve been spending an hour or so in my friend’s kindergarten classroom as part of my therapy/treatment plan.

I spend a lot of time in my house. Not necessarily because I want to, but because sometimes I’m afraid to leave. I’m afraid of who I will run into. Afraid of what could happen; what couldn’t happen. Just fearful. So in order to quell these fears I simply don’t leave the house.

This, of course, is probably not the healthiest decision (ok, let’s be honest, I know it’s not the healthiest decision). Months ago my previous therapist recommended I find somewhere to volunteer. At the time I was afraid (I’m seeing a theme here) that if I started volunteering someone would say I was well enough to go back to work and I would be thrust back into a very toxic work environment.

Since then I have come to realize that no one can force me back into that job and getting out and getting involved would be a great way for me to ease back into a healthier (and employable) frame of mind. So a couple of months ago I decided to ask my teacher friend if she could use some help in her classroom.

She was thrilled (I don’t know many elementary school teachers who turn away volunteers). Once a week I go into the school and seat myself at the tiniest of chairs (envision it folks, knees to my earlobes). I am then joined by a very excited 4 or 5 year old who proceeds to read to me from a book with 6 or 7 pages, bright images and lots of sight words.

I love their enthusiasm (I’m hoping it’s contagious). I love their joie du vie (I’m really hoping I catch that). I love their little smiles. The voices they make while they read (I miss my kids doing that). Their excitement over telling me the story and explaining the pictures. And I really love how confident they are.

I hope that as I spend more time with them I am reminded more and more that life is worth living. I’m looking forward to the other lessons they’ll teach me, or remind me of, as the year progresses.

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About Holly

I hope you're able to glean something from this blog, a nugget of wisdom, a new perspective, a smile or even a laugh. I enjoy getting feedback so please comment, share your story with me too. After all, we're here to help each other.
This entry was posted in anxiety, depression, GAD, Mental health, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Getting Out and Getting Involved

  1. Good for you for getting out. Im glad it has had such a positive affect.
    I really admire your honesty here & in general.

  2. Winding road says:

    You sound very self-aware knowing what you are capable of right now and the fact that you reached out to someone to volunteer is wonderful! you love yourself and that is number one.

  3. What great supporters you have here! Loving the comments! I think it’s great that you are facing your fears and leaving the house… And I gotta say, a room full of kids is pretty much the stuff of my nightmares, but I’m glad you are getting something in return! 🙂

  4. Good for you, Holly! Children and animals can be our best teachers if we let them be….they live life in the moment and don’t hold grudges or belabor issues. And, getting out and taking chances is very freeing and liberating, empowering, too! So, keep it up, even if it is scarier some days than others. I know you will reep many, many benefits!! XOXO-Kasey

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