Alexi has been having a rough summer. He’s been struggling making good decisions, and by good decisions I mean things like not sneaking his Nintendo DS to his room in the middle of the night. Or coming home on time from friends’ houses. Or doing what he’s asked when he’s asked without fighting, arguing or whining.
I know these are things that all kids go through. I get that. But 2 solid months? I think there’s only been a handful of days since the end of May when he hasn’t been grounded. I’m just as tired of enforcing these punishments as he is of having them.
Several weeks ago we had an appointment with the new pediatrician and Alexi disclosed to her that he’s angry. He’s especially angry at his father for not being there for him. The last thing his father said to him was “be good”. Alexi decided, in an act of age-appropriate defiance, “NO! I will not be good.” The doctor spoke with him and Alexi came to the realization that his dad isn’t suffering because of his defiance – he is.
After talking it over with the pediatrician we decided on a little “ovum therapy” – breaking eggs to ease the aggression. I had Alexi write and draw on a dozen eggs. He wrote things like “homework”; “dad”; “grounding; things that frustrate him and cause him stress.
We drove out to a local conservation authority where Alexi took to pitching his troubles into the bush.
When we left the park, after destroying all 12 of Alexi’s eggs (and a dozen of my own) I asked Alexi how he was feeling about his eggs-perience (couldn’t resist). He said he felt pretty good about it. We talked about making better decisions (I really wish he had paid more attention). We even talked about his dad.
Alexi talked openly about his disappointment with his dad’s lack of parenting. He lamented about missing having a “dad” – an involved, active and loving parent instead of an absent and absent-minded sire. We talked about the kind of qualities a good dad should have and how a good dad would behave towards his family.
It was a good talk. I’m glad I can have moments like this with my son. I know how blessed am I to have him in my life, even when he’s begging for more time on the Wii.