Random Ramblings

ramblings

That’s it. I’m done. I don’t want to play anymore. Being a grown up stinks. No one told me it would be this hard (ok, maybe they tried – “don’t grow up so fast”, “enjoy being young”, but not hard enough).

BarbieMac

Image courtesy of Google.com.

Growing up I played with Barbie. Barbie had it all. The Dream House. The pink Corvette. An extensive wardrobe with countless pairs of adorable shoes (I love shoes). Cell phones. Computers. An RV. An airplane. Heck, she even had her own McDonald’s.  She had wallets full of little plastic credit cards with matching purses and shoes (the shoes again, I’m obsessed). All this and an attractive, devoted boyfriend/husband named Ken.

barbie-astronautdoll

Image courtesy of Google.com

Barbie also comes with a complete list of credentials and qualifications which allow her to be everything from a kindergarten teacher to an astronaut. Let’s not forget that she is drop dead gorgeous (by plastic doll standards at least). Has beautifully styled hair and cleavage that would make Pamela Anderson green with envy.

Now that I’m grown up (really, the jury’s still out on that one, but my birthday was Monday and I turned 38 so I’m almost there) I’d like to know what kind of mortgage rate she got on the Dream House. Does it have good resale value? Did she get a loan to buy the ‘Vette or does she lease? Did she rent the RV or borrow it from her grandparents?

I’m curious to know if Ken ever complains about Barbie’s fashion obsession. Does he resent his obvious lack of closet space in the Dream Bedroom? Has he ever demanded a Dream Man Cave? I mean, that’s an awful lot of pink for any guy to tolerate for too long.

Does she own the McDonald’s or simply work there to pay her way through astronaut school? Does she have student loans? If so, how long will it take her to pay them off? I want to know what Barbie’s IQ and grade point average are.

dreamhouse

Image courtesy of Google.com.

Does she get little plastic bills delivered to the Dream House on a monthly basis? Do she and Ken have a carefully laid out budget allotting a percentage of their income for investments or RSPs? Do they live hand-to-mouth, arguing over how to spend their meager income? Or do they live beyond their means, counting on credit for every purchase?

barbie beach

Image courtesy of Google.com.

I’d like to know how she manages to stay beautifully coiffed and poised regardless of whether she’s working the fryer at Mickey D’s or wearing a space suit. I’d like to know how she’s managed to stay wrinkle-free despite years of laying on the beach or lounging by the pool. Not too mention how she handles the pressure of several demanding careers.

What I’d really like to know is how she manages to stay on her spiked-heeled feet without being taken down by the sheer weight of her breasts. Let’s face it, Ken’s probably stuck around so long because he’s been sucked in by the gravitational pull of those puppies.

I guess it’s time to face reality. I am never going to be a blonde, buxom bombshell like Barbie. But that’s ok. I like my chances at happiness just being me.

barbie

I love this one. I think my favourite touch of realism is the cat in the litter box. I have no idea who created this, but they are ingenious.
image courtesy of Google.com

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About Holly

I hope you're able to glean something from this blog, a nugget of wisdom, a new perspective, a smile or even a laugh. I enjoy getting feedback so please comment, share your story with me too. After all, we're here to help each other.
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13 Responses to Random Ramblings

  1. jenny says:

    this made me smile and laugh (truly laughed out loud) Thank you Holly for helping me through this day! 🙂

  2. Funny piece. That is way too much realism for me in that last picture. Who would actually buy that Barbie? Mommy, I have to bathroom Barbie. I find it hard to believe that was a big seller.

  3. LOVE IT! I’m a Barbie fanatic. Always have been and always will be! I have a huge collection still living at my mom’s (yes, they live, lol), and Maycee has also adopted the passion for the plastic beauties and has a full 2 boxes of them as well. Hilarious! Honestly, if I could live Barbie’s lifestyle for awhile these days….I’d take it. Especially the Barbie motorhome equipped with its own swimming pool that folds out once you’re parked at your destination, oh, and with Ken, too, please; nothing wrong with a guy who never grows old and has perfect hair 24/7. Ahhhhh, peacefully pink. XOXO-Kasey

    • Holly says:

      LOL, I used to love my Barbies. I still have some of them. And yes, I too, wouldn’t mind living the Barbie dream for a while. Without the plastic bills though 😉

  4. Okay, I never would have noticed the cat in the litter box… seriously there is so much reality happening in that last picture (which I loved) that I wouldn’t have even noticed the cat!! That post is hysterical!

    • Holly says:

      Thank you!! I’m glad I could bring some laughter into your week. I don’t think I noticed the cat in the litter box until I’d looked at that picture at least 3 times. The other cat giving himself a bath is classic too. I think I see something different every time I look at it.
      Thanks for the comment. I’ve been thinking about you a lot and wondering how you’re doing. Big hugs.

      • I’m okay. I’ve been told that once this is all over with and I’m not busy from morning until night coordinating and arranging everything that I will probably have my breakdown, so, until then, things are good. Well, they suck, but you know. 🙂

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