Random Ramblings

ramblingsI am bibliophile. At least I was. I used to work in a book store (sometimes it felt like I paid them to work there). My most recent job, the one I’m currently on a medical leave from, was at our local library.

bibliophile as defined by Miriam-Webster
~ a lover of books especially for qualities of format; also : a book collector


Ahh, books, how do I love thee…let me count the ways….

I loved my job at the library. I loved being surrounded by books and people who loved books. I took courses to learn more about books. It was heaven. Until I started having a “personality conflict” with a co-worker (commonly referred to by the law as “workplace harassment”). Unfortunately this “conflict” triggered the PTSD (and worsened it) and sent me spiraling into the dark abyss that I have spent the last 2 years trying to claw my way out of.

The connection to the library has caused one of the worst side effects of the PTSD I could have imagined. It has affected my love of books and reading. I don’t enjoy books anymore. I don’t like holding them. I don’t like smelling them. I don’t like reading them. I can’t walk into a book store or a library without having a mild anxiety attack. I haven’t enjoyed reading in ages.

This. Is. Killing. Me. Or it was, until this past Saturday. You see, Staples had Mini-Kobos on sale. Mike is a technophile and has been insisting for months that I need an e-reader. Being a book lover (book snob, or as my friend, K., lovingly calls me a book “Nazi”) I was adamantly against the idea of an e-reader.

technophile as defined by Miriam-Webster
~ an enthusiast of technology

They don’t feel the same as a real book. They don’t smell the same as a real book. They’re not as good. I was certain I did not want one. Mike was certain I needed one. So despite my protests he bought me one.

Sunday we loaded a few books on it and I started reading. And I read. And I read. And I read some more. I guess the fact that it doesn’t feel like a book or look like a book or smell like a book makes it the perfect book for me. (Mike was right, I did need one, but shhhhh don’t tell him).


Kobo, I’m so sorry we didn’t meet sooner.
image courtesy of kobo.com


About Holly

I hope you're able to glean something from this blog, a nugget of wisdom, a new perspective, a smile or even a laugh. I enjoy getting feedback so please comment, share your story with me too. After all, we're here to help each other.
This entry was posted in anxiety, coping strategies, GAD, Mental health, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Random Ramblings

  1. I love books. I mean love. I was very resistant to an e-book. But I got a generous gift card for my BD and a friend found me a refurbished Kindle on Amazon. Oh Emm Gee!! I go through and download a dozen fee books at a time. I get online and check out book from the library. I can indulge my love of books without having to deal with people or spending any money!! I am so glad you have one now!! You’ll love it!!! 🙂

  2. That’s great that you are back into reading. I am bibliophile as well and am happier when I am in the midst of a book.

  3. That’s awesome, Holly! I (hate to admit it) am not an avid reader, but I, too, was adamently against an e-reader when they came out. However, for my ex-husband (Maycee’s dad), I bought him a Kindle for his birthday in January because he goes through books like bubblegum, and I just KNEW that he could truly benefit from having one. He loves it (I think), ha, ha. And, we got a tablet as a gift for Christmas, and it can be used as an e-reader, so I’ve downloaded a couple of free books on it so far, and it is very cool. So, sounds like your bo found you not only a cool techno gadget, but also a great solution to your inability to read a book for the past 2 years! Hurrah! 🙂 XOXO-Kasey

    • Holly says:

      It has been an excellent solution! I’ve read 2 books since Sunday and am a quarter of a way through my third. It feels like coming home for me.

  4. I too worked in a library and it did not work out, but just because I kept getting distracted by all the cool books to read. I was a lifelong paper book snob until I got my Kindle. Love, love, love the Kindle for most things. It’s bad at two things, though: poetry and how-to books. It has trouble keeping the line breaks, and graphics are not so great on the black & white version. But its true, you can read it outside in the sun. If we ever got any here . . .

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s