It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything of substance. Almost two months I believe. I’ve sat down a number of times to write something and just couldn’t seem to follow through. I’d get a few words written and then I’d lose my train of thought (ok, it leaves the station…without me).
I wrote about the anxiety I was experiencing in Giving it My Best Shot. Two weeks after that I suffered the most horrific anxiety attack. Twelve hours of shaking, wailing, moaning, pacing, crying. I was no longer in control of my mind. Anxiety had taken over completely. I was totally irrational. I couldn’t articulate a single thought (I don’t know that I had a single thought). Everything I felt was primal like I no longer had cognitive functioning. It was scary.
I went to the doctor and he gave me a prescription for Cipralex and Lorazepam. It took several weeks, major therapy and an increase in the Cipralex for me to the anxiety under control. I have only experienced one anxiety attack in three weeks and I’m very excited about that (YAY me!)
What I’m not so thrilled about is the side effects of the Cipralex. I’m experiencing debilitating headaches (I woke up this morning and my skull hurt from my eyebrows to the nape of my neck…not exactly the greatest incentive to hop out of bed) and some dizziness. I saw my doctor yesterday and we decreased the dose hoping it will help with the headaches while still controlling the anxiety. Only time will tell.
In other news…
Note About Boston
My heart goes out to the City of Boston and its residents as well as all those who had traveled for the marathon. I hope the American people know that they have friends and support north of the border. We are, after all, family.
On the homefront…
Rian brought home her mid-term reports a couple of weeks ago. She had a 90% in French, an 86% in Art, a 78% in Phys. Ed. and a 64% in Science. Needless to say, I’m very pleased. She’s shown great improvement this semester and I’m so proud of her.
Alexi, who has you may recall was failing math last term, has brought home 2 math tests with perfect scores! He’s registered for grade 9 and I’ve been getting all kinds of paperwork from the school about his upcoming graduation and year-end trip. It’s all very exciting.
Believe it or not, Mike is still around. Not only did he support me through the anxiety episode (I tried to break up with him, again, not thinking clearly, but he wouldn’t give up), but he has done more research into PTSD and anxiety than I have. He’s looked into the meds I’m taking, alternative therapies, natural remedies, relaxation techniques. He’s been my biggest supporter.
He even went to a massage session with me. I tried Deep Tissue Massage therapy (very painful, but helpful, Mike laughed when I cried out in pain) and Cranio-Sacral Massage. (very soothing and beneficial) It was very helpful and I’m looking forward to going again.
Now that I’m feeling a bit more in control and bit more like myself it’s time to get back on track. Thanks to everyone who has expressed their concern about my absence (here’s one of those moments where my train has left the station. I have no idea what to say next so I’m just going to end now. Hope you’re having a good day.)