Time to Come Clean

It’s time to come clean – both figuratively and literally. I have been seeing someone. I met Mike about 2 months at a friend’s house. The kids and I were visiting my friend, Rita, and her husband, Hughie, one Saturday afternoon in August. It was a great day. We were laughing and thoroughly enjoying ourselves. We pretended to play badminton (Rita and I reminisced about our high school gym class when we would dance around the badminton court…good times).

I was planning on leaving before supper, but Rita invited us to stay.  They were having a bonfire later with Rita’s brother and sister-in-law and their friend Mike. Mike and I only spoke briefly as we sat across from each other with a raging bonfire between us, but it was a nice casual meeting. A few weeks later I was, again, visiting Rita when Mike showed up to hang out with Hughie (ironically he entered the house when Rita were checking out online dating profiles just for the fun of it). Mike invited us to join them at the local pub for karaoke. We had a great time. I haven’t laughed so much in years. During the course of the evening Mike slipped my phone off the table and texted himself so he could get my number without having to ask for it. That was just over a month ago and we’ve spoken or texted everyday since.

That was the figurative cleaning – I needed to come clean about the secret I’ve been harbouring (ok, it’s never really been a secret, but it sounds much more dramatic that way). Now to the literal cleaning. Last week, on his day off, Mike came over and helped me clean Alexi’s room.

With Mike’s help Alexi’s room went from this (Mike would like me to point out that this picture is from last year, when we were in his room you couldn’t see the carpet)….

to this, in one afternoon.

I don’t want you thinking Alexi is off the hook for any of the work. Mike’s brilliant plan, and I loved it, was to put everything in large, clear garbage bags and store them in the basement until I’m ready for Alexi to sort through them – with supervision (I have often threatened to use this tactic but have never followed through until now; I’m so glad I did and regret being such a push-over all along).

We cleaned up his reading nook.

Made it so he could open his dresser drawers.

Even the pets are enjoying Alexi’s new space.

We found money, gift cards, a box of Gold Fish crackers, some of my clothes (I think they were mixed up in the laundry), video games, empty Jos Louis wrappers, and one very squashed Jos Louis,

pop cans, a kazillion Pokemon, Digimon and some other “mon” cards, what we think was a bird’s nest although the jury’s still out, clothes, books, DVDs (he doesn’t have a TV in his room) and tons and tons of Lego.

Not every man would delve into the darkness of my son’s bedroom. I think I’m going to keep Mike around – at least until we’ve done Rian’s room.


About Holly

I hope you're able to glean something from this blog, a nugget of wisdom, a new perspective, a smile or even a laugh. I enjoy getting feedback so please comment, share your story with me too. After all, we're here to help each other.
This entry was posted in ADHD, anxiety, children's mental health, coping strategies, dating, GAD, parenting, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, single parenting and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Time to Come Clean

  1. Good for you!
    Funny last line.

  2. Holly says:

    Thanks! Glad you saw the humour in it!

  3. Gotta love ya, HMcN! Cleaning up the clutter, whether mental or physical, creates so much space for the good stuff. I’m sure Alexi was in shock at first but now in his glory…a clean slate for him [and you]. I LOVE clutter make-overs!
    PS: also glad to hear you are laughing…that’s the best medicine 🙂

    • Holly says:

      Absolutely!! Letting go of old stuff makes room for new stuff. New stuff is usually much more fun…especially mentally and emotionally. I went through his clothes too and have 4 bags to give away to a new home. He’s enjoying it too. The only thing he has to do to maintain is make his bed.

      Without laughter there is no healing, no progress, no growth. I’m all about the healing, the progress and the growth.

      Love you lots!

  4. Awesome, Holly! Congrats on both subjects! I hope things continue to go well, and indeed, if Mike is willing to help out with something such as cleaning Alexi’s room-he’s already on my keepers list. Can’t wait to hear more! XOXO-SWM

    • Holly says:

      Thanks, Kasey. Right now Mike’s out prepping my yard for winter while I rest because of a nasty headache. I can’t remember if I’ve ever been this content or felt this good about a man. 🙂

      • Wow! I think that is wonderful, Holly. There are some good guys still around, and when you catch one, you gotta hold on as tight as you can. I’ve yet to find “the real thing” myself, but with my life the way it is now I think I’m content to enjoy moments of love rather than lifetimes when it comes to men. So, so, happy for you and praying for continued happiness. If he lets you…gotta post a pic of you two! 🙂

      • Holly says:

        We’re going to a Halloween party tomorrow so I may be able to get him to agree to a photo…he hates having his picture taken.
        I’m trying to keep my feet on the ground this time, but he’s so sweet. I’ve dated guys who have helped me before but he does it without being asked…that is something I’m not used to.
        How did your date go on Saturday? I’m curious.

      • My date two weeks ago went pretty well. BUT, this guy is from Mexico, and the way he acts is very different outside of when he’s working. When he’s at the ranch he’s quiet, reserved but smiling, helpful, etc. When we’ve been alone there have been times he’s been condescending and borderline macho (my girlfriend at work whose family is from Mexico calls it “machismo”, which is like wanting to be the boss, sotospeak). I’m just not into that, and I was surprised he was like that, personally. And, I’ve found he is not up front about things…tells me simple truths about, for instance, like not being able to eat spicy foods (shocker, again, coming from a Mexican male) after he at first says he’s “not hungry”, then later comes clean that he can’t eat salsa (for example). Ugh, I’m just not into even the slightest dishonesty. Sooooo, for a long explanation, I’m sticking to friendship with him only…too many red flags!!

      • Holly says:

        It’s important to pay attention to your instincts. I’ve ignored mine too many times. Stay safe.
        Lots of love,

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