I realize I’ve told more than one humourous (humourous in this sense is easily interchangeable with “embarrassing”) tale about my children. I think it’s about time I told one about me.
I remember the day well. It was a Friday, in May I think. I woke up lazily and looked at the clock. Oh crap! I forgot to set my alarm!! You know that feeling, don’t you? Terror spreads through your whole body and in nanoseconds your brain jumps into hyper-speed. I hopped out of bed, yelling at the kids to get out of bed as I tripped over the cat.
I sped through the hallway opening both kids doors and hollered “Get a move on!!!” I was on a mission and was channeling my inner Drill Sergeant. “MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!” I was dressed and getting the kids meds down their throats before their eyes were completely opened. Through nothing short of a miracle they managed to get ready and out of the house only a few minutes late to catch the bus. Being the loving mother I am, I advised them, in a tender voice, “RUN!!”
I sat down and heaved a sigh of relief. Whew, a semi-successful start to the day. It could have been better, but they were out the door and hopefully would get the bus. I always was a dreamer. A few minutes later both kids came back in the door, heads hung in shame. (I wonder if they fought over who had to go in first, obviously Alexi lost since he opened the door.) I grabbed my coat, a stream of disappointment spewing from my mouth.
“Youkidsdon’tknowthemeaningofthewordhustleyou’regoingtoneedtolearnto pickupthepaceifyou’regoingtosurvivethisworldbecauseit’snotgoingtoslow downforyoubeingontimeisimportantpeopledon’tliketo bekeptwaiting…”
Alllllllllllll the waaaaaaay to school.
Upon reaching the school we saw an empty school yard. “Great”, I continued, “The bell’s already rung. Get on, hurry up. Don’t dawdle.” They closed the van door and I sped off. I stopped at the gas station before I heading home. I was still fuming. I needed a few minutes to calm down. Usually I go for a drive when I’m frustrated. I love driving around the back roads checking out the fields and the pastures. I find it very soothing. However, I hadn’t had breakfast and hunger won out so I went home after filling the gas tank.
Upon entering the house I saw the answer machine light blinking. I thought that was kind of weird. I rarely get phone calls first thing in the morning. I pushed Play; “Holly, it’s Janice calling from the school. Could you please come pick up the kids? It’s a PD day.”
Can you say Epic Fail?