Yup, that’s pretty much how the last seven days have been – a week-long daze. I have sat before this computer screen countless times in the past seven days trying desperately to put my thoughts into words and I haven’t come up with a thing. Zero, zilch, nada, bub-kiss.
It’s not that things haven’t been happening in the Madhouse. The kids have had counseling sessions. I’ve had Wraparound meetings. The Intensive Social Worker and her student have been here several times helping create some order in the madhouse (it’s a bit of an oxymoron, isn’t it). There have been school meetings, emails exchanged with counselors and teachers alike and family meetings around the kitchen table.
I helped my son deliver newspapers while he cringed at the Hallowe’en decorations in the neighbourhood. My daughter had a chat with our family doctor after expressing the desire to commit suicide. I have started seeing a new therapist and will be starting Neuro Feedback Therapy in the next couple of weeks. (One of the goals of my therapy is to get me back to work. Yay!)
For a couple of hours I helped man a table for PCMH at the 17th Annual Empowerment and Action Day in London, Ontario. I met Barbara Hall, Ontario Human Rights Commissioner, who has a real heart for mental health. While there I had a very enjoyable conversation with an interesting man named Wes. He was volunteering with the local sledge hockey club called London Blizzard. Wes shared a bit of his story. He was in an accident eight years ago and suffered an injury that has left him in a wheelchair. I was impressed by his spirit of overcoming and his impish smile.
I also had a doctor’s appointment, a telephone interview for a position on a new committee and a week-long headache. The kids have had homework. My mom suffered a flare-up of the Rheumatoid Arthritis. Both Rian and Alexi have been rebelling against the new house rules and the consequences for disobeying said rules. I’ve been having nightmares and difficulty sleeping. And I just learned the kids’ dad plans on taking me back to court to fight over support payments.
Now that I take a look at my week, all spelled out in black and white, I can understand why my brain has been foggy. It’s been a madhouse! I’m going to have to slow it down. My team has been gently reminding me that if I keep pushing myself I’m going to end up really sick again and that won’t do. I think I’ll take the rest of the weekend off, maybe read a book…or two. (Hello, my name is Holly and I am a bibliophile.)
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