But You Present So Well…

I have completed an application to see if I can get some help from an agency. I don’t want to delve into the details of which agency in case I am declined, but I would like to share bits from the Activities of Daily Living piece I have to submit.

” The average day I would say I function at approximately 60 to 65% of my previous abilities. Some days it is as low as 40%. Every afternoon I must rest for at least an hour in order to function for the rest of the day.  What the vertigo and DID symptoms have done to my self-esteem and self-worth is probably the hardest of all to face. I feel useless, worthless, inconsequential, unprofitable, wretched and miserable.”

and

” Speaking of appearances, I have been having great difficulty getting help from various agencies because I “present so well”. This phrase has become the bane of my existence. I suffer from a very debilitating mental health disorder which affects every aspect of my life from parenting to work to romance, but have been unable to access services because I “present so well”. I am being denied services because I choose to take the proper medications in order to manage my illness. I am being denied services because I have developed coping tools and use them. I am being denied services because I am articulate and intelligent. The specialist I went to see about the vertigo told me that since I appear to be functioning fairly well I should be happy with that. I am being denied service because I choose to pour vast amounts of my energy into functioning. The bottom line is if I keep pouring out that energy into functioning, at this rate, I will be hospitalized by year end.”

I just keep hoping that tomorrow will be better.

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About Holly

I hope you're able to glean something from this blog, a nugget of wisdom, a new perspective, a smile or even a laugh. I enjoy getting feedback so please comment, share your story with me too. After all, we're here to help each other.
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3 Responses to But You Present So Well…

  1. It’s in our nature as women and moms to do our best to be “okay.” It’s a tough place to be in when you need help. I went through a similar situation with my finances. I was getting to the point where I was considering debt settlement. I was asked, “Are you making your minimum payments?” Yes. “Are you behind at all in any payments?” No. “Is your interest rate higher than 12% on any loan?” No. “You have excellent credit.” Great. “Then, I’m sorry, we cannot help you.” It didn’t matter that I really wasn’t able to keep up. It appeared that I was. People who aren’t trying to help themselves get the help. People who are, often times don’t or can’t. I hope this situation changes for you. Hang in there!

  2. Pingback: We Now Return to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming « survivingthemadhouse

  3. Pingback: Wednesday, May 16, 2012 « survivingthemadhouse

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